Karla's Choice by Nick Harkaway

Author:Nick Harkaway [Harkaway, Nick]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2024-10-22T00:00:00+00:00

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The international line was very poor, and Ann’s voice was very quiet. Smiley thought she was loving him; he was afraid she might be crying; but he couldn’t hear. He had called her to explain, in so far as that was possible, what he was doing and why: that it was incumbent upon him; that he hated it but could not refuse it; that it was a last goodbye. Replying, she spoke for a long time, and when he broke in to tell her she was too quiet it didn’t seem to change anything. He listened to the rhythm of her voice, the ebb and flow of emotion, trying to guess the words. Benediction, ultimatum, forgiveness? Or, worse, indifference. He had no way to tell. When she stopped, he answered the only way he could, with his own truth straight from the heart. She was his world, his hope, his light. He remembered Iren’s letter, and almost asked her whether it was too late for them to have a child. Instead he repeated that he had this one thing to do and never again, that he could not hear what she was saying and didn’t know if she could hear him, but he trusted, he worshipped, and he was coming as soon as he possibly could. He heard a reply. It could have been no more than punctuation. He said, ‘I love you,’ and waited for a triple beat; and, after the sound of disconnection, went back, over and again in his mind, to look for it in what she had already said. He was sure it was there, if he could but isolate it from the silence.

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